The Search Begins

With all of this time on my hands I've decided that I should probably start working on my film career. I really want it. I need to start it up. See if it's for me, because I'm not about to be a waitress for the rest of my laugh attempting to get gigs on sitcoms. That's not for me.

I dream of bigger and better things.

I feel like I'm destined for something other than being a teacher or a mother (even though those professions are so honorable). All I want to do is act, but I'm afraid that it won't happen. Then I won't know what to do. I'm not passionate about anything else. All I've ever done and am good at is being someone else for a period of time...

What am I going to do if I fail?

I'm not going to eat tomorrow. But my laziness will probably take over and I will eat something.

I really want to lose weight. I hate my body. I feel like a slob when I look at my body in the mirror.

I ate ice cream today and my dad made some comment about my weight. Which makes me feel so good about myself. Really. I love it when he asks about my waist size and if it's getting bigger.

I feel a depression coming on and it will take more than a few pounds to get me out of it.